I ended up responding to two different topics on social media the other day. It provided a nice writing opportunity so I thought I would preserve it.
Video about Fat Acceptance
I have a few close friends who are overweight (using this term for a reason) and I totally agree that the stigma against fat people is terrible. I just don't see how we go from "accept fat people as the human beings that they are" to "being fat is not unhealthy." It seems like psychological eating disorders are being hidden behind the bid for fat acceptance. Being fat is the clearest evidence of the behavior that we have eaten in excess of our dietary needs. Now it may be the case that our culture pushes us to look at a biologically healthy person as overweight. That is, there is a tolerable range of fatness where one can still be thought of as healthy, but surely there is a line determined by specific health parameters like blood pressure/cholesterol,etc. That said, I agree that the health issue is not a reason to shame people especially about behavior (thinking that fat people are just being lazy, don't have enough willpower).
The issue of choice is complicated and if someone wants to lose weight, yet is compelled to eat more, they clearly need help from someone. This is someone who has lost the ability to choose, they are powerless and taken over by an addiction. If they choose to remain overweight and accept themselves, that's akin to someone choosing to smoke imo. They will be susceptible to being rejected by potential mates. It's the same reason I don't want to date a smoker. It doesn't mean they're a bad person. If they want to quit but can't, they need help. If they just want to accept themselves as smokers they are going to have to be okay with people not wanting to date smokers. Yes beauty is certainly subjective but we can't fault people for their choices either way.
The other idea that struck me in this story was the tug between what you are and what people's perceptions push you to be. There's a pretty clear parallel for me with the whole trans thing and dating. Though I was always the same person in my mind, I looked different and there's no way the kind of people that I would date now would have been into me beforehand. But I think it would be crazy to expect them to have been into 'my essence" or whatever because the body is still part of who you are whether you're trans, fat (trans fats lol) or what ever. Also we're going to shift who we are because other people's perceptions feed back into our how we express ourselves, no one is an island, completely detached and there's nothing wrong with that imo. thanks for posting this, it was very interesting, lots of parallels for me regarding social stigma stuff.
Ok yeah so I was nodding in agreement at the beginning of this video until it started really going sideways,
Points of agreement:
1)If all a person does is talk about their trans-ness all the time, that's pretty annoying, there is so much more to life than your gender identity though it can be a huge thing for some people especially if they've been hiding it their whole lives and they've just come out. Kinda like when someone just went vegan, or just learned how to jump with a pogo stick, they might be annoyingly in your face about their change all the time in the beginning. If that period continues on, that's just kinda lame, get a life, I get that, you can use a pogo stick now, get over it.
2)I agree that if someone is not willing to date you because you're trans, it's a matter of preference, not bigotry, that's an easy one.
3)Children transitioning is also a super complicated thing, kids are very suggestible so messing with hormones is maybe not the best approach. Having said that, I wish I had been able to transition before puberty, I'm not sure if that kind of hindsight is a good enough reason to say that all potentially trans kids should undergo hrt. It's good enough to say that maybe some of them should. I think this is an empirical question. How many kids who transitioned early detransition later in life? If it's a super crazy high amount, we have reason to believe that it's not a good practice, if it's tiny or none, then we can more confidently choose hrt for kids. Another piece to add to this is that we know that people undergo great suffering when they have gender dysphoria and are not allowed/able to transition so the thought that this can be avoided is the motivation behind early hrt. Again, we need more data on this, especially for the younger ages like 10 (the example in the video).
4)The world does not need to accommodate such a small group. Being misgendered sucks but I can't control other people's behavior/understanding/perception, I can only hope to inform people about these things and they'll call me whatever they want anyway. There are much more pressing issues than whether or not someone called you she instead of he or whatever.
Points of disagreement:
1) The idea that trans people are just born trans is still being studied but it's pretty obvious to me that the causes are not merely biological, but a confluence of forces involving one's upbringing, social interactions, environment,etc. How could it not be, especially given the ways trans people express their identity with specific cultural affectations? That being said, from the subjective side of things, it certainly does feel as biologically determined as having blue eyes or being 5' 9". I mean if the choice is suicide or living the rest of your life in a miserable state, that's hardly a choice. And I suppose it is an altogether different thing to feel like your body is wrong your whole life.
2)There are only two genders. There aren't even 2 biological sexes if you count intersexed people. This can't be right simply because gender is based off of how people identify and they clearly identify with being feminine, masculine and everything in between. So the threshold is pretty low for gender identity. That makes it sounds like any crazy person can just identify as whatever but assuming people are genuinely expressing how they feel, we can't just ignore that. I mean that's what has happened to trans people in the past, it was thought of as a mental disorder that needed to be fixed to fit the appropriate gender roles but such "corrections" are clearly just based on the society at the time since other societies recognize more than 2. Our views and conflicts with gender variance are more a product of how history has gone down. If you're in a society where gender roles have been strictly enforced, of course gender variant people are going to be pushed to identify one way or another.
3) All the new pronouns and accommodations don't really make sense to me but I haven't looked into it. I say only make up a new word if there is a use for it, so if someone is androgynous, gender neutral, using "they" and "them" covers it. No need for new words. Also this androgynous person shouldn't just expect to be gendered correctly every time (and get all pissed about it) because most people do fit the binary. Save "ze" for the Vogons.
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